On Bullshit

This book is on The Daily Dump's Christmas wishlist. It sounds like an excellent read.

On Bullshit
FROM THE PUBLISHER
One of the most salient features of our culture is that there is so much bullshit. Everyone knows this. Each of us contributes his share. But we tend to take the situation for granted. Most people are rather confident of their ability to recognize bullshit and to avoid being taken in by it. So the phenomenon has not aroused much deliberate concern. We have no clear understanding of what bullshit is, why there is so much of it, or what functions it serves. And we lack a conscientiously developed appreciation of what it means to us. In other words, as Harry Frankfurt writes, "we have no theory."
Frankfurt, one of the world's most influential moral philosophers, attempts to build such a theory here. With his characteristic combination of philosophical acuity, psychological insight, and wry humor, Frankfurt proceeds by exploring how bullshit and the related concept of humbug are distinct from lying. He argues that bullshitters misrepresent themselves to their audience not as liars do, that is, by deliberately making false claims about what is true. In fact, bullshit need not be untrue at all.
Rather, bullshitters seek to convey a certain impression of themselves without being concerned about whether anything at all is true. They quietly change the rules governing their end of the conversation so that claims about truth and falsity are irrelevant. Frankfurt concludes that although bullshit can take many innocent forms, excessive indulgence in it can eventually undermine the practitioner's capacity to tell the truth in a way that lying does not. Liars at least acknowledge that it matters what is true. By virtue of this, Frankfurt writes, bullshit is a greater enemy of the truth thanlies are.

Shit Story of the Week

The following is taken from a phone call that was intercepted...err, accidently overheard...today by one of our staff members.

Jake: I shit myself today!

Tish: What??! (mad laughter)

Jake: I was feeling a bit uncomfortable. The room was empty, so I figured I'd take advantage of the moment. I mean, what better time to pass a casual fart? So I let 'er rip! It sounded like an AK-47 firing off about 600 rounds. I was proud of myself - until I noticed that the bed was soaked! Damn hospital liquid diet!!

Tish: (more mad laughter)

Bedside Interview with Jake Sharp

Yesterday we caught up with Jake Sharp, who is currently confined to a hospital bed at Fort Sanders Regional Hospital in Knoxville, Tennessee.

Daily Dump: Early this morning, the Associated Press reported that you had spoken out about this hospital's "fixation with constipation." What brought this about?

Jake: I had been deathly ill for several days on Thanksgiving when my sister Tish, who just happens to be your boss, took me to the ER here at Fort Sanders Regional. I was given intravenous fluids for severe dehydration, and a long list of medical tests were ordered. A couple of hours later, the doctor came into see me. Apparently my abdominal CT scan showed nothing out of the ordinary - except for "serious constipation". I hadn't eaten in a week. How the hell could I be constipated?

Daily Dump: I see. So, the hospital staff subjected you to uncomfortable and expensive procedures only to give you a diagnosis of constipation?

Jake: Yes. I had many other symptoms, of course, but those went to the wayside. From that point forward, the ER staff focused on my apparent constipation. All this hullabaloo just because I was toting a load!

Daily Dump: Tell us more about this alleged focus on your bowel movements, or lack thereof.

Jake: Well, when the doctor informed me of my condition, I told her that I hadn't eaten in a week, and that I had dropped a litter of kittens a few days earlier. But that wasn't the end. She then informed me that she was prescribing a stool softener to go along with the buffet of other pills that I'd be taking to combat the other symptoms. She explained that there was a "massive amount" of waste in my colon.

Daily Dump: What did your sister have to say about this?

Jake: I have no idea. She couldn't stop laughing long enough to give me her opinion.

Daily Dump: Such a shame. Moving on - what was prescribed for your constipation, and did you fill it?

Jake: Colace was prescribed. And no, I didn't fill it. I didn't have to. The barium I drank for the CT scan did a number on me - #2 if you will. When I got home, I had the worst case of diarrhea known to mankind. I expect it to make headlines in the medical journals next month.

Daily Dump: Obviously there were further complications. You were admitted to the hospital on Saturday.

Jake: Yes. I still couldn't hold down any food or drink. I was severely dehydrated again, and my throat felt like sandpaper. When I visited the ER again on Saturday, I was admitted to the hospital.

Daily Dump: It's now Monday. Do you have any news?

Jake: Yes. Yesterday morning an Internal Medicine doctor came in and took an assessment of my symptoms. And then she told me that she had reviewed my CT scan from Thursday and that something must be done for my severe case of constipation. She said she'd order an enema. I immediately protested, explaining that I'd had the runs for two days after drinking all that barium.

Daily Dump: What happened next?

Jake: She told me that sometimes you can get backed up. Just because I'd had the runs for two days didn't mean jack shit. No pun intended.

Daily Dump: None taken.

Jake: Now I'm here living on a hospital liquid diet, and the nurses are coming in every hour on the hour to get an update on my bowel movements. I think I'm going to have to learn to shit rabbit turds just to be able to provide for all the requested stool samples!

Daily Dump: One more question. How did the AP get this story before we were notified? After all, your sister is the Editor of the Dump!

Jake: Well, I have my suspicions. The door was open during one of the "constipation conversations" with the doctor. I'm sure that Tish's laughter attracted a bit of attention to the room. I knew that old man next door sounded familiar to me, but I hadn't been able to place his voice - at least not until after the AP picked up the story! He's Deep Throat!!

Daily Dump: 'Nuff said. Have a good day, and eat that bran muffin.

Word of the Week

From the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary:
Main Entry: dung
Pronunciation: 'd&[ng]
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English; akin to Old Norse
dyngja manure pile
1 : the excrement of an animal : MANURE
2 : something repulsive
- dungy /'d&[ng]-E/ adjective

The Poopie List

The Poopie List

Ghost Poopie
The kind where you feel the Poopie come out, but there's no poopie in the toilet.

Clean Poopie
The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

Wet Poopie
The kind where you wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't runie them with a stain.

Second Wave Poopie
The kind that happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize you have to poopie some more.

Turtle Poopie
The kind of poopie that pops out a little and goes back in a few times before it finallly comes out

Pop-a-Vein-in-your-Forehead-Poopie
The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

Lincoln Log Poopie
The kind of Poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the plunger.

Gas-sy Poopie
The kind where it's so noisy, everyone within earshot is giggling!

Drinker Poopie
The kind of Poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

Corn Poopie
(Self explanatory)

Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poop Poopie
The kind where you want to Poopie, but all you do is it on the toilet and fart a few times.

Spinal Tap Poopie
That's the kind when it hurts so badly coming out, you swear it was leaving you sideways.

Wet Cheeks Poopie (The Power Dump)
The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get spashed with water.

Liquid Poopie
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots you of your butt and spashes all over the toilet bowl.

Mexican Poopie
The kind that smells so bad your nose burns.

Upper Class Poopie
The kind of Poopie that doesn't smell.

The Suprise Poopie
You are not even at the toilet, because you are sure you are about to fart, but, OOPS---a Poopie!

The Dangling Poopie
This Poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done poopie-ing. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.

A Turd

men's room monologue

Word of the Week

From the Merriam-Webster Dictionary:
Main Entry: mic·tu·rate
Pronunciation: 'mik-ch&-"rAt, 'mik-t&-
Function: intransitive verb
Inflected Form(s): -rat·ed; -rat·ing
Etymology: Latin micturire to desire to urinate, from meiere to urinate; akin to Old English mīgan to urinate, Greek omeichein
: URINATE
- mic·tu·ri·tion /"mik-ch&-'ri-sh&n, "mik-t&-/ noun
Pronunciation Key

Special thanks to Osbasso for submitting the Word of the Week! If you've got an idea for a Word of the Week, email us!